lovenotfear Thoughts and inspiration for a happier you

Throughout my adult life, every few years or so, I would start to look like I ate all the pies. The reason for this, is that I ate all the pies. And most of the pizza and also, a lot of the potatoes.

Every few years I would suddenly start to wonder if all my clothes had somehow been shrunk as some sort of joke, or if I had someone else’s jeans on and then I’d realise “Oh, no, I’m just getting fat. Again.” So I would reactivate my gym membership and try to lay off the crisps and pies and within a few months, I could wear actual clothing without feeling like the oros man.

But then, it would happen again. “Are these my jeans? Oh.”

And I knew about calorie counting, carbs, sugar, fat, chemicals, banting, paleo, eat for your blood type, preservatives, vegan etc. I got all this stuff. But it’s all just too much and none of it resonated enough to prevent the next wave of chubbiness.

UNTIL a couple of years ago, when I attended a breathing course, and learnt a simple, ancient philosophy that actually did resonate with me, and has helped me to understand the link between food and the rest of my life. And I’d like to share with you what I learned.

According to Ayurveda, every living thing has a universal life force flowing within it. You may know this as Chi, or Qi or Ki. In ayurvedic or yogic principles it is known as Prana. Prana is good. We want as much prana as possible, and we can increase our prana through breath, water, exercise, sleep, the environments we choose to be in, the way we think and of course, the food we eat.

This philosophy also states that every living thing, including animals and plants are made up of three energetic qualities (known as gunas), which are present within us in varying degrees with one guna dominant at different times. What we think, do and eat all contribute to how much of each guna we possess. These three gunas are sattva, rajas and tamas.

I would like to invite you to try to figure out which guna is most dominant in you.

SATTVA

Sattva is related to lightness, creativity, clarity, harmony, peace and truth… The best parts of you are sattvic. Nicest you. Happiest you. Most grateful you. Healthiest you. A DOLPHIN is an example of a sattvic animal. On an apple tree, apples that are just ripe are sattvic and contain the most prana.

RAJAS

Rajas is about activity and movement - it’s what gets you to an early morning spinning class or makes you work towards that promotion. Too much rajas and we become restless and hyperactive, overly competitive, materialistic, talkative, frenetic. Think TIGER. Aggressive, swift, a force to be reckoned with. On an apple tree, the apples that are in the process of becoming ripe are rajasic.

TAMAS

Tamas relates to inertia, dullness, heaviness, boredom, moroseness, depression, oversleeping, obesity, laziness. An example of a tamasic animal is the HYENA. On an apple tree, apples that are over-ripe or rotten are tamasic.

Which guna do you think is most prevalent in you, right now?

The Good News is - You can influence which guna you allow to dominate, through the choices you make and particularly the food you eat.

Sattvic foods are fresh, light, easy to digest, and eaten as close to the source as possible – spinach fresh from the garden is sattvic and contains more prana than pre-chopped and packaged spinach. Organic fruit and veggies. Organic unpasteurised milk, raw, organic honey. Nuts and seeds. sprouted lentils, chickpeas. Foods that are as close to LIVING as possible.

Rajasic foods stimulate and irritate the mind and system and include excessively sweet, spicy, bitter or salty foods. Chilli, most spices, coffee, sugar, pickles, eggs, fish are rajasic and should be consumed in limited quantities with sattvic foods. Eating too many rajasic foods, and doing rajasic activities (martial arts for instance), is said to increase emotions like aggression, and the need for power.

Tamasic Foods have no prana and do not support life. Alcohol, tobacco and marijuana are tamasic. Pork, beef, lamb. Anything leftover, fermented, deep fried, canned, frozen, processed or over-ripe, including over-ripe fruit! Also, no matter how healthy the meal, overeating is also considered tamasic. We should really avoid tamasic foods completely.

NOW YOU KNOW the 3 gunas - sattva, rajas and tamas, along with the foods you can eat to increase your sattvic qualities and thereby increase your prana.

Understanding prana and the gunas hasn’t turned me into a skinny vegan yoga instructor who ends arguments with namaste (yet), but it is slowly changing the way I see food. These rules are not given to me by advertising or labels or on boxes. This is about energy. It’s about love, rather than fear.

This knowledge has made me make better choices more often, and I realise I am out of balance way before I start to suspect a clothes-shrinking conspiracy. These days, instead of finding myself at the Charlys Bakery counter wondering if two pies is too much for lunch, I find myself in the fruit and veg wondering - Is that spinach sattvic?
Is there prana in this banana?

I think it’s important every now and then to stop and consider your friendships: establish who your real friends are, which new friendships you should pursue and which friendships are sapping too much of your energy. What better time to do that than right now, before the social season kicks in? Consider it a sort of spring cleaning of the friends.

So how do you go about this?

STEP 1

UNDERSTAND YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT FRIENDSHIP

Establish what friendship means to you. I’ve made my own little list of what I think friends are. See if you agree and then add your own criteria to the list. Don’t necessarily think about YOUR friends – just think about what you think friendship is or should be.

I think good friends are people who:

• Take the time to ask you how you feel
• Listen to what you say
• Invite you to spend time with them
• Hug you for no reason
• Tell you they love you
• Take a real interest in your life
• Trust you with their secrets and keep yours under lock and key
• Are truthful with you, but always kind
• Are open to you
• Enjoy similar things to you
* Call you on your stuff
* Truly want you to be happy, successful and all the good things

And most importantly, a good friend is someone who makes you feel good about yourself. They should not make you feel guilty or misunderstood or in competition or feeling like you have to watch what you say. You don’t feel judged or put down in any way. You can be yourself.

Step 1 is really about knowing how you feel about friendship – how you would define it.

STEP 2

MAKE A LIST OF ALL YOUR FRIENDS

Now think about your friends. Who are they? (Other than the 357 friends you have on facebook…)

Start by listing the people you spend the most time with (outside of work). Now think about who your favourite favourite people are – even if they live far away or you don’t see them that much… Do the two lists match up? Are you spending the most time with your favourite peeps?

STEP 3

ESTABLISH THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY

Now that you have a list of who your friends are, think about how these people fulfil your idea of what friendship is from step 1.

Who are the people who tick most of the boxes and especially, who makes you feel good about yourself and comfortable to be yourself?

 Which of these friends do you love?
 Who do you trust?
 Who do you feel the safest with?
 Who can you really be yourself with?
 Who loves you?
 Who do you have unresolved issues with?

Really think about what each friend gives you. What it is you enjoy about each one and where do you feel you are not enjoying the friendship truthfully?

Analyse each friendship in terms of the amount of joy it brings you and how “safe” you feel really being yourself. You might find the list gets considerably shorter as you go through your criteria.

STEP 4

WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU?

I remember reading somewhere (probably a Famous Five or Secret Seven book) that in order to have good friends you have to be a good friend. It’s always stuck with me – or rather resurfaced whenever I felt lacking in the friend department or let go of a friendship for whatever reason…

You’ve looked at how you think your friends fair. How do you match up? Look at your list of criteria again. Are there areas where you fall short? Are there friendships where you give too little? Or too much?

For instance, do you know as much about your friends as they know about you? Do you remember their birthdays and their kids’ birthdays? Do you appreciate them for the people they are? Do you give as much as you receive? Do you ask them how they are and listen to the answer? Do you gossip about your friends? Do you wish them well or are you envious of their success? Are YOU honest and supportive and compassionate and fun to be around?

STEP 5

TAKE ACTION

So now you have a good feeling for who the most special people in your life are. And you’ve thought about the kind of friend you are… What steps do you need to take to spring clean your friendships?

 Maybe you need to email your long distance friends more and grow the friendships despite the distance?
 Perhaps you’ve realised you have a friend or two who just doesn’t make you feel good about yourself or who you don’t have that much in common with after all?
 Do you need to reach our more to the people you care about?
 Do you have friends who are going through “stuff” who could use a bit more support?
 Is there a friendship you need to get “back on track” by getting something off your chest?
 Are there any on your list who you can honestly say bring you NO JOY?
 Anyone on your list who would be delighted to receive a small surprise gift or even a phone call from you – just because you love them?
 Any new friends you really want to make an effort to get to know better?
 Anyone you’ve lost touch with who you want to rekindle the friendship with?

Work out your own action plan and then take real steps – STARTING TODAY - towards ensuring all your friendships are real, true and mutually joyful!

FINALLY, Step 6. If you wrote a list of your friends and gave them all ratings and wrote down honest thoughts about them, burn or delete that list this instant. For real.

So you sometimes find yourself in a crappy mood and you can’t really figure it out because nothing’s really wrong, but you just can’t shake it and find yourself sneering at your pet fish? Here are some easy, cheap and fun ways to improve your mood, very quickly. It’s not rocket science, but we sometimes forget in those dull, gloomy moments that there are things are that can improve our moods.

1. Go to you tube and search “Funny kid”, “adorable”, “cutest thing ever” or similar. You are bound to find something that tickles your funny bone and makes you feel better… (Don’t do this if the reason you’re in a bad mood is related in any way to your wasting so much time online)
2. Meditate. If you don’t know how, then just lie or sit comfortably with your eyes close and breathe easy for a while, trying at the same time to consciously concentrate on relaxing every part of your body. If your mind wanders, simply turn your focus back to your breathing and relaxing. Don’t allow negative thoughts to take hold. Breathe and let them go and think only about nice stuff, if you must think. Do this for 10 minutes and you will feel better.
3. Watch a sunrise.
4. Watch a sunset.
5. Eat a hot fudge and choc-chip ice cream in a sugar cone.
6. Have an orgasm.
7. Have an orgasm while eating a hot fudge and choc-chip ice cream in a sugar cone.
8. Play a song or CD you love dancing to and then… just dance! Crank it up, close your eyes, kick off your shoes, let down your hair and shake shake shake what your mama gave you.
9. Watch a fantastic comedy or musical - something you know you love. My go-to’s are Romance and Cigarettes, Bridesmaids and anything with Kristen Wiig in.
10. Get some sun. Even if you’re stuck behind a computer all day, just step outside for 5 minutes and feel that delicious sunshine on your face. (Unless of course you live somewhere super chilly and rainy. Like Scotland. In which case you’re kinda missing an item on this list. Ok your No. 10 is Have some Whiskey. Not a lot though.)
11. Lie down on a fresh, soft patch of grass with your eyes closed and smile. It’s impossible to not feel better.
12. Spend a few minutes or an hour with animals – if you have pets go and snuggle up or play or just connect with them. If you don’t have pets, visit friends who do, visit an aquarium or go the dog park and make furry friends. WARNING: Approach strange dogs with caution.
13. Daydream. Visualise a perfect day you might be able to have sometime in the near future – if you have plans, or expecting visitors over December or whatever – imagine yourself on that beach or taking the road trip or even just being off for a few days and being able to sleep in. Let yourself fantasise about a totally plausible event… It’s powerful.
14. Create something. Buy a R40 pack of clay and make a mini bust of Trump; or paint or draw something, make up a silly song, write a haiku… Being creative releases feel-good-juices.
15. Exercise also releases serious endorphins, so you can’t help but feel better. If you are a regular exerciser, do your favourite form – yoga, gym, mountain biking etc. If you haven’t exercised for many years, don’t panic. There have been some advancements since the jumping jack and aerobics. I would suggest hot yoga; walking on a mountain; frisbee on the beach; surfing; pilates; hot yoga, indoor rock climbing, rollerblading, swimming and did I mention hot yoga?
16. Find pretty things in nature – go searching for shells or pebbles or crystals or wild flowers. Seriously. You might think you’re not in the mood, but when your feet hit that sand and you start looking around, magic can happen!
17. I was in a bad mood recently and then I drank my first ever Frankie’s Root Beer and my mood improved instantly. True story. If you’ve never tasted root beer, I can tell you that it tastes almost exactly like FUN.
18. Do something nice for someone else. Bake cupcakes and take them to a children’s home, or make sandwiches for your local homeless peeps or just perform a random act of kindness towards a stranger. Creating a joyous moment for someone else will put you in a good mood. Unless you’re a real meanie.
19. Slap asses. I don’t know about you, but slapping someone’s ass always makes me feel better. Sneak up on co-workers, chase the postman and get a good slap in there, surprise your housemate with a good one… use your imagination.
20. Phone someone you adore – a friend, sibling, granny etc. and have a chat. Make sure it’s someone who is positive and happy and makes you feel good.
21. Make a list of things to look forward to. You might feel like you don’t have that much to look forward to…but once you get going, there’s probably quite a lot! Examples: Christmas, payday, movie night, date night, a new season of Masterchef Australia, a friend’s birthday party, your New Year’s Eve plans, a sporting event you’re attending or partaking in, your Christmas Turducken, an upcoming festival, stuff like that.
22. Think about all the things you’re grateful for. Once you start listing them, you’ll be surprised how many there are and it will be impossible not to snap out of your shitty little mood.
23. Take a nice long drive somewhere pretty, play some singalong songs and wind down your window and sing like there’s no tomorrow!
24. Breathe. Just sit somewhere nice and breathe – take 9 in and 9 out, three times, through the nose, with your exhalations and inhalations the same length of time. Feel that lovely stuff filling your lungs. You’re alive!
25. Buy yourself a gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive or anything… Just work out your budget, think about stuff YOU love a lot or anything that’s interesting you at the moment or anything you might need to make your life easier or more enjoyable and then go out and buy yourself a present. “Because you’re worth it”. It could be mascara or a CD or a new pair of shoes or a Kinder Joy chocolate.

One of my favourite possessions is a little book by Deepak Chopra called The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success. He has such a wonderful way of simplifying complex philosophies so that the man on the street (or even the woman on the couch) can easily understand them.

Personally I think everyone should buy the book, but until such a time as you have it in your slender hands, I’ll give you a taste – THE LAW OF LEAST EFFORT.

In essence, this law states that nature’s intelligence or the Universe functions with effortless ease … with carefreeness, harmony, and love. And when we as humans harness the forces of harmony, joy, and love, we create success and good fortune in our lives, with effortless ease. He puts it beautifully when he says a blade of grass doesn’t try to grow, it just grows. A bird is not constantly struggling to fly – it just flies.

Wouldn’t be great if we could live as easily and naturally and effortlessly as grass grows… without all this damn struggling we do all the time?

According to the 7 Spiritual Laws, work, money, success, love… all the things we struggle to hold onto all the time, would come to us easily if we learnt to go with the flow of the universe, if we learnt to stop struggling against the natural order of things and learnt to just be…

Let’s take look at a few everyday examples:

“The Party”

Let’s say you want to go to a party and the true reason you want to go to this particular party is because your ex is there with his new girlfriend and you want to see what she looks like.

(Don’t pretend you’d never do it)

While you’re getting dressed and visualising what might happen when he sees you 6kg lighter, your phone rings and it’s an old friend in town for the night wanting to hook up for drinks.

TEST: What do you think the easy, harmonious, flow-of-the-universe decision would be?

To let the ex get on with his night and meet up with your mate, of course! Your night will be effortless, fun and uplifting.

But…by declining the friend’s offer and going to the original party, all nervous and full of fear and ill-intent, you are struggling against the natural order of things and will probably have a kak night! Why? Because your decision was in essence based in fear, and not love.

“The Artist”

Let’s say you’re an artist and all you really want is to be able to make a living from your art.

But, the nature of the art world being what it is, the strains and stresses of everyday life and societal pressures mean you can’t just create… because as you create, you’re wondering if it will sell, how much it will sell for, etc. You let other people’s crticisms sway you or make you doubt yourself or your ego won’t allow you to take good advice or crticism. Or maybe you refuse to take a normal job in the meantime because you believe it’s a sign of failure etc. etc. when in reality it’s simply a means to the end and perfectly acceptable, if not necessary. Basically, you are letting fears and doubts and ego into your art.

But if for instance you decide to take a part-time job which is actually quite OK and you accept that and your art is a pure expression of love and freedom and joy, and you are simply creating because you are a creator, the positive energy will continue to flow from you and therfore WITH you and more will come to you!

You could even go out of your way to make sure that the job is related to your art, so that it is in alignment with your BIG PLANS, for instance by working nights at the Butt Art Studio.

“The Promotion”

Or let’s say you really really want a promotion and when the time comes, someone from outside is appointed and joy of all joys, the skinny little bi-atch is now your superior…

Being bitter, making judgements and assumptions about the decision, being uncooperative with the new chick, walking around the office with a face like a smacked asshole and so on, will not bring you any joy at all and will create a domino effect of struggling with her and could escalate to Dynastian proportions.

But if you embrace the decision and truly carry on with love in your heart, you might find things turn out in your favour after all. Because you just never know what the flow of the universe is. For all you know she feels she doesn’t fit into the company and resigns, recommending you for the position because you’ve been so helpful and supportive and stuff!

See what I’m saying? Trust the Universe. Accept. Go with the flow and things will be easier than you can imagine.

Stop questioning, second-guessing and trying to control. Relinquish that control to the Universe and you’ll soon find you have so much more energy to enjoy yourself.

Which does not mean DO NOTHING. It doesn’t mean you can sit on your ass all day waiting for things to come to you - it simply means there is an EASY path to your success and the things you want in life.

Deepak gives this advice for people wanting to learn to practice The Law of Least Effort

Accept people, circumstances and events as they are in this moment, because it took the entire universe to create this moment.

When confronted with a challenge, remind yourself, “This moment is as it should be, because the entire universe is as it should be.” Accept things as they are, not as you want them to be.

Take responsibility for your situation without blaming anything or anyone, including yourself.

Try to see every problem as an opportunity which can be transformed to greater benefit.

Practice defencelessness: Relinquish the need to defend your point of view. Remain open to all points of view, not rigidly attached to one of them. That way, when opportunity knocks, you’ll willingly open the door!

It’s not easy putting these principles into practice, but it’s not impossible! Baby steps. For instance, when I wake up tomorrow morning and look at my winter blubber, I will accept it, embrace it even. I will accept responsibility for the winter blubber without blaming myself. I will not try to squeeze into something I clearly don’t fit into. Instead I will slip effortlessly and happily into my Tai fishing pants and superwoman t-shirt, slap myself on the ass and say “yeah baby” or similar.

And I definitely won’t spend too much time worrying if you-know-who is getting along with her you-know-what this week. Or when next they may see one another. Breathe. Let go. Trust. Least effort. Flow.

You know how sometimes you come across someone who is rude to waiters, belittles parking attendants, treats their partner badly and just generally leaves you feeling not-so-nice? It occurred to me that those very people probably don’t know that they are assholes…

So I thought a little tool might be useful in very quickly identifying our asshole-potential!

Now I know it’s not nice to think that YOU might be an asshole but alas, sometimes one must consider it as a possibility. And if you’re not, let this help you identify any people in your life who might be in danger of becoming an asshole or who are already giant assholes.

Simply answer YES or NO to the following questions

1. Have you fallen out with one or more friends in the last year?
2. Have you had any kind of falling out with any of your family members in the last year?
3. Do any of your husband / wife / partner’s friends dislike you?
4. Could you describe any of your close friendships or relationships as volatile, or “up and down”.
5. Do you ever get the feeling that those close to you are walking on eggshells, afraid of upsetting you?
6. Are there times when you truly dislike yourself?
7. Do you ever wish harm or unhappiness on others?
8. Have your colleagues ever complained to your superiors about your attitude?
9. Have you made someone close to you cry in the last three months?
10. Do you ever get the feeling that people are purposefully avoiding you?
11. Has anyone told you in the last six months that you are mean, nasty, selfish, spiteful or manipulative?
12. Has anyone purposefully damaged your property or acted maliciously towards you in the last year “to get you back”?
13. Do you often find yourself enthusiastically gossiping about other people?
14. Has someone actually called you an asshole or similar in the past six months?

Now count up all your YES answers…

0 YES answers

You’re a saint. You’re a good person. You’re lovely. You’re nice. But you must beware of being a doormat. Read those questions again and see if anyone in your life sprung to mind as you read… If so, you might be in danger of giving too much of your precious time and energy to an asshole. Think about it. If you do feel like you’re the flipside to someone else’s asshole coin, start making changes today. Don’t forget that as nice as it is to be nice, it’s not nice when your niceness allows someone else to be not nice to you.

1 – 4 YES answers

That’s ok. It’s normal to have the odd little drama here and there – we’re all human after all. Sometimes we’re misunderstood. Sometimes we’re grumpy as all hell. Sometimes we’re going through stuff and sometimes we’re just premenstrual and have a brat attack for no good reason and That’s ok. Just be aware of how often you have emo drama in your life and keep it to a minimum.

5 – 8 YES answers

Look at your answers again carefully and make sure you are not just persecuting yourself. Are all your YES answers true, or are you making unfair assumptions and judgements about yourself? If they really are true, then see where you can slowly start to change your behaviour to the benefit of yourself and those around you. Look at what your triggers are and dig deep to try to understand why things trigger you into behaving in the way of the asshole. What are your personality traits, characteristics, attitudes or behaviours that account for most of your YES answers above? For instance – jealousy or low self-esteem or aggression or sarcasm or manipulation. What should you be doing LESS of and which behaviours or attitudes (like empathy, compassion, patience etc.) should you be practising more? Come on. Make an effort to be nicer.

More than 8 YES answers

Woah, Nelly! If you really had more than 8 YES answers, you should probably find some time to examine WHY. Are you holding onto old anger and resentment? Are you acting and speaking from your truth or are you always defending yourself? Are you always making excuses for your behaviour and blaming others for the drama in your life? Or, if you’re truthful, do you realise that most of the time, it is in fact YOUR shitty attitude that causes problems in your relationships? If so, it’s time to admit that you are not being the best you that you can be. DON’T PANIC. You can learn to understand and love yourself better. You can change your attitude towards life. You can change your behaviour towards other people and build more meaningful and truthful relationships. But it is most definitely time to make a change. Get your shit together, asshole.

I first encountered The Law of Attraction about 10 years ago.

My girlfriend and I had broken up and the digital camera was unfortunately hers… I really wanted to get myself a cool little camera so I could keep playing but alas, I was completely broke, what with moving and deposit etc. and my salary was stretched to capacity anyway.

Nonetheless, in the weeks that followed, I would go into Game or similar and price the cameras I liked. Of course I knew the chances of me having 4 or 5 K to buy a camera were quite skraal BUT I looked anyway. One night I sat with my pen and notebook and did this little exercise where I wrote down all sorts of cool ideas for when I had my camera one day.

That Friday I was at work when one of the guys in the office sent an email around saying that BA’s in-flight magazine were running an amateur photographic competition and that the entries closed at 5pm that day. The prize? A Nikon P5000 worth R4500!

Uh-huh!

I went home and got some pics I’d taken in Switzerland and France and raced back to the office, scanned a few and sent them. I don’t think I expected to win, but I also didn’t expect not to. I think I just let it go.

Now one would think it would take weeks before you even heard from them but the very next Monday I received a call from a lady saying I had won the camera. All she needed was my delivery address!

I kid you not, within a week of spending the time and energy writing down what I would DO with a camera, that very camera came to me!

That, I believe, is the Law of Attraction.

Not too long after that, The Secret came out. It took me a few years to see movie, but I had never forgotten the sentiment. Or rather, it comes back to me every now and again.

Deepak Chopra talks about the Law of Intent and Desire, and says that inherent in every desire are the mechanics for its fulfillment. He says we can literally change the energy not only within our own bodies but also within our environment – to the extent that we can cause things to manifest in it. (Things like a camera or a car or love or health or money.)

This change is brought about by two qualities inherent in consciousness: Attention and Intention.

Attention energises, while Intention transforms.

Whatever we put out attention on, will grow. If we take our attention away, it will wither.

So it stands to reason that if you are constantly thinking your boyfriend is going to cheat you, chances are he will cheat on you, because you have given so much attention to “your boyfriend cheating”. You have attracted it to yourself.

In the secret they say:

“Whatever you are thinking, is in the process of becoming.”

If you feel blessed and lucky and you’re grateful, you will attract more of the same.
If you are always complaining about how bad things are, things will just get worse.
If you truly want something, and your intention is pure and energised, it will come to you.

But back to Deepak:

“In most people, Desire can be described as Intention with an ATTACHMENT to the outcome.”

The way I understand this is… for instance:

• You are desperate for a specific person to ask you to a party because you believe it will lead to love and you’ll just die if they don’t end up loving you;
• you’re so anxious and nervous about whether or not you’ll be approved for that vehicle loan that it keeps you awake at nights;
• you really really really want a house that will impress your friends and your enemies.

Do you see the pattern there? The attachment to the outcome is linked to fear. Fear of rejection, failure, whatever. There’s too much going on. It’s not simple anymore.

Deepak Chopra says the true power or desire lies in practicing Intent with DETACHMENT. In other words, you are genuinely OK with the outcome, because you TRUST IN THE INFINITE ORGANISING ABILITIES OF THE UNIVERSE.

So you’ll be more likely to manifest a beautiful mountain bike if the reason you want that bicycle is because you feel FREE when you’re on it… and not because you “MUST lose 10 kgs for your ex’s wedding”.

If you want to manifest lots of lovely ZAR (or any other currency) in your bank account, it won’t happen if you feel guilty for wanting it or if you keep questioning yourself and asking: “But how? I earn a crap salary. I won’t ever have lots of money in my account”.

YOU don’t have to worry about the detail. You simply have to be present and aware of what you need and want and not focus on the future outcome or the details.

More from Deepak:

How can you harness the power of intention to fulfil your dreams and desires? You can get results through effort, but if you follow these steps your intent will generate its own power.

1. Centre yourself in the silent space between thoughts – in the essential state of being.
2. Release your intentions and desires with the expectation that they will bloom when the season is right.
3. Keep your desires to yourself. Don’t share them with anyone unless they are closely bonded with you.
4. Relinquish your attachment to the outcome.
5. Let the Universe handle the details.

I interpret those steps like this:

1. Learn how to be still and simply breathing. Learn to listen to yourself and understand what it is you truly, honestly and purely want.
2. Put some energy into it – do something positive in the direction of your desire. This shouldn’t be EFFORT – not tiresome phone calls etc. Draw a picture of the life you want, go into a showroom and test drive that car, circle the FOR SALE ads in the farming section. BE FREE!
3. Sometimes when you talk too much about doing something, you forget the doing bit. And I reckon sometimes you talk so much about something, it’s released too loudly and it flutters away. Or something like that.
4. Don’t be desperate or attach too many other things to what you want. Know that things will be as they should be.
5. Don’t fret about the detail. You’ll only convince yourself it can’t happen. You can’t control it at all, so all that energy will simply be wasted.

So… if you find some quiet time this week, why not think about what it is you desire, right now, in your life. And then follow the steps above and see what happens! You can start off by attempting to manifest something small and short-term and then as you get to understand better what you want in the longer term, put it out there!

I have a newer, fancier Canon these days, but my trusty little Nikon is still going and perfect for festivals and hiking. It’s compact and it takes awesome photos.

I wanted to say a quick word about Karma because I was reminded again recently of just how powerful it is.

I was freelancing at an agency in Somerset Road for two days. Running late on day one and struggling to find parking, I decided to bite the bullet and park in the Cape Quarter 2 parking. By the time I got back to my car later that day, I owed 60 South African Rond.

I handed R100 over and the sweetest lady behind the counter gave me my change. But as I drove out I realised she had given me 60 back instead of 40.

It didn’t feel right to keep driving, so I missioned like crazy in rush hour to turn around and I went back and gave her R20 back. She was very grateful and surprised and it felt nice.

The very next day I was again looking for parking in Somerset Road and surrounds and decided to go and park at CQ2 again because paying R60 was less taxing on the nerves than driving up and down the one way streets for 45 minutes. Different lady this time.

When I came back to my car hours later, expecting to pay R60 again, what do you know? There’s a manager-type guy standing at the open boom, and he smiles and tells me it’s my lucky day because they have to do something to the card machine quickly and I can just go.

Hello.
Rewarded karmically, the very next day, at the exact same place!

Would the Universe have conspired to let that happen had I driven off in glee clutching my scored R20 the day before??

I THINK NOT.

We all know the expressions “you reap what you sow” and “what goes around comes around”….

I like this one though:

“Karma is the eternal assertion of human freedom. Our THOUGHTS, WORDS and DEEDS are the threads of the net which we throw around ourselves.” Swami Vivekananda

Isn’t that beautiful?

All these expressions boil down to the same thing: Spread love and joy and happiness around and it will come back to you.

Every time you make a choice about something, simply let your heart guide you and make the BEST choice in the moment: the choice which will be of the greatest benefit to you and those around you. And I truly believe there is always ONE choice which is the BEST for all.

Keep an eye out for the way you make your choices and the karma that you attract to yourself. That net that you have made - what does it look like? Those seeds that you are sowing on a daily basis - are they going to grow into love and light and happiness?

We also sometimes say “Karma is a bitch” and yes, she certainly is, if you are.

But if you are honest and kind and your words, thoughts and deeds are based in love, then Karma can be the sweetest lover, the best friend, the most comforting mother…

Be nice. And nice things will happen to you.

:)

If you had to plot your range of emotions and attitudes on a daily chart – literally, chart every single emotion as you feel it, all day for a few days, which emotions and states of mind would populate your chart most of the time? Not necessarily what you are portraying, but more in your own head… the thoughts you have?

For instance… you wake up and immediately need to wee. Do you experience IRRITATION at the fact that you can’t lie in for a few minutes; do you feel downright ANGER because this is not how you wanted to wake up, bla bla bla… or do you simply accept the fact, feel GRATITUDE for a good night’s sleep and go and pee with a smile on your face?

While peeing, do you think about what that stupid cow at the office said yesterday (HATRED) or do you think about ways to mend your relationship with the aforementioned cow, because she’s just another person trying to make their way through the world? (EMPATHY)

When driving to work, do you feel FRUSTRATION at slow drivers or people who try to cut in front of you and even worse, the bastards who block you from cutting in? Or do you practice ACCEPTANCE and simply listen to music and take ENJOYMENT from the drive?

When you see a larger-than-life woman with a gorgeous husband while grabbing a bagel for brekkie, do you express UNKINDNESS about her? Do you make JUDGEMENTS AND ASSUMPTIONS about their relationship or do you think “You go girl!”? (KINDNESS)

So you can see that just by going through your normal day you can have in your heart irritation, anger, hatred, frustration, unkindness, judgements and assumptions… OR, with exactly the same outer experiences, you can feel acceptance, gratitude, empathy, enjoyment and kindness…

That, I believe, is attitude! And it’s generally either mostly POSITIVE or mostly NEGATIVE.

Start paying real attention to your ATTITUDE towards life, love, yourself, your job, partner, friends and family. Make a mental (or written) note of the range of emotions, feelings and attitudes that live in your head and heart and see if you can’t start turning those negative ones around?

Cultivate a positive, happy attitude towards life and life will improve. I can almost guarantee it.

If you truly feel that you do already have a happy positive attitude towards life in general, BE GRATEFUL every day and start to consciously spread that happy attitude by being an example to the people around you!