lovenotfear Thoughts and inspiration for a happier you

5 simple techniques for reducing anxiety

If you’re someone who gets wrapped up into a tight little ball of nervous anxiety when you’re stressed and you don’t really do anything about it, I have a question…

If there was a way to be able to control that nervous energy and bring everything down a notch or seven, would you use it? Yes?

Good news, guys. There is a way. Several ways, actually. Tools you’ve heard of, read about. Maybe you’ve even tried a couple. But in my experience as a serial befriender and dater of anxious people, you guys seem to shun the very methods that could help the anxiety. It’s not your fault; after all, it’s the opposite of what your body naturally wants to do when you’re in a heightened state of anxiety. So, it’s not easy. But maybe, just maybe, you haven’t given them a proper try? What if something works?

What about now?

Studies have shown that anxiety has severe effects on the body and mind – both short-and long-term. The more serious of these is heart issues, gastrointestinal issues, heart problems like increase risk of heart disease, various illnesses from a lowered immune system, gastrointestinal disorders including irritable bowel syndrome, memory problems and frequent migraines.

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

1. Breathe

If you suffer even just a little bit from anxiety, you’ll know that your breathing can become quite shallow and quick when you feel out of sorts. By learning to control your breath, you can learn to control your anxiety. And if you learn to manage your anxiety – needless to say, you go into the next phase of your life a little bit calmer, able to deal with life’s ups and downs a little easier. Intentional breathing has a calming effect on the nervous system and the mind – it’s almost impossible not to feel better after a series of deep, slow, intentional breaths. There are a variety of methods to try – google and see what resonates with you. Better yet – watch this great TED talk and then find the method that works for you.

2. Meditation

Whether you lie on your bed listening to a guided meditation or try the “just sitting” method, it will help you. You will find that any instruction around meditation starts with deep breathing. (Funny that.) Once you master the art of stillness, you can use it any time to bring your anxiety level down. Any. Time. The major cause of anxiety is worry, and if you learn to “just breathe” and “just sit” and “just be”, you can learn to let go of worry, even if just for a few minutes at a time – at first.

3. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is simply the art of knowing what is happening, as it’s happening, without any judgement. It’s about being present in the moment. How might this help you? As you become more mindful, you can more quickly and easily notice when your anxiety levels go up, and you can then use one of the tools to calm yourself. This involves doing only one thing at a time, and for those who suffer from anxiety, it’s an invaluable way of being. By training your mind to focus on only one thing at a time, you learn to shut down all the incessant chatter in your head. If you’re eating, just eat. Don’t eat while working or while trying to come up with a solution to your problems. If you’re in a meeting, just be in the meeting – don’t start rehearsing what you’re going to say to the person who upset you most recently.

4. Mantras

I am lucky in that anxiety only hits me every now and then, but when I feel it rising in me, I do something about it immediately. If I have time, I will sit and breathe or meditate for a while. If I only have a few minutes to get back to good, I simply take a few deep breaths and I remind myself that everything is under control. I might need to do it a few times over the space of an hour, but the action I take ALWAYS helps. Always. Another mantra I use is NNTP, which of course stands for No Need To Panic. It makes me chuckle and that, friends, is yet another way to reduce your anxiety. Find something to laugh at.

5. Solve a problem

If you really have something causing you severe anxiety, ask yourself: What’s my main problem, really? If the problem is something quite real, and it is within your power to change it, then spend some dedicated time writing, thinking and/or talking about the problem, and find a workable and realistic solution to it. Of course, if it’s on your mind while you’re chasing a deadline or doing your work, then use one of the other tools to calm yourself. Decide right there and then on a time and place that you are going to actively work on a solution – whether for an hour or a morning. Put it in your diary if you have to. Then breathe, say your mantra, be mindful and remind yourself that there is no need to panic - you have set aside time to work on the solution and for now, worrying isn’t going to change anything.

I’m not saying it’s easy, and of course I’m not professing that people with major anxiety disorders should sniff lavender and do their “ohms” and all will be right in the world. But if it’s something that tends to get the better of you and you haven’t yet started intentionally working on your anxiety, why not give these simple (and super cheap) tools a try? You might find it’s a lot easier than you thought.

Most importantly though, it’s a conscious, intentional step in the direction of self-love and self-care. And that’s always a powerful thing. It might seem dramatic to say you could harm yourself, but you know deep down that your anxiety is doing you no good.

One of my favourite possessions is a little book by Deepak Chopra called The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success. He has such a wonderful way of simplifying complex philosophies so that the man on the street (or even the woman on the couch) can easily understand them.

Personally I think everyone should buy the book, but until such a time as you have it in your slender hands, I’ll give you a taste – THE LAW OF LEAST EFFORT.

In essence, this law states that nature’s intelligence or the Universe functions with effortless ease … with carefreeness, harmony, and love. And when we as humans harness the forces of harmony, joy, and love, we create success and good fortune in our lives, with effortless ease. He puts it beautifully when he says a blade of grass doesn’t try to grow, it just grows. A bird is not constantly struggling to fly – it just flies.

Wouldn’t be great if we could live as easily and naturally and effortlessly as grass grows… without all this damn struggling we do all the time?

According to the 7 Spiritual Laws, work, money, success, love… all the things we struggle to hold onto all the time, would come to us easily if we learnt to go with the flow of the universe, if we learnt to stop struggling against the natural order of things and learnt to just be…

Let’s take look at a few everyday examples:

“The Party”

Let’s say you want to go to a party and the true reason you want to go to this particular party is because your ex is there with his new girlfriend and you want to see what she looks like.

(Don’t pretend you’d never do it)

While you’re getting dressed and visualising what might happen when he sees you 6kg lighter, your phone rings and it’s an old friend in town for the night wanting to hook up for drinks.

TEST: What do you think the easy, harmonious, flow-of-the-universe decision would be?

To let the ex get on with his night and meet up with your mate, of course! Your night will be effortless, fun and uplifting.

But…by declining the friend’s offer and going to the original party, all nervous and full of fear and ill-intent, you are struggling against the natural order of things and will probably have a kak night! Why? Because your decision was in essence based in fear, and not love.

“The Artist”

Let’s say you’re an artist and all you really want is to be able to make a living from your art.

But, the nature of the art world being what it is, the strains and stresses of everyday life and societal pressures mean you can’t just create… because as you create, you’re wondering if it will sell, how much it will sell for, etc. You let other people’s crticisms sway you or make you doubt yourself or your ego won’t allow you to take good advice or crticism. Or maybe you refuse to take a normal job in the meantime because you believe it’s a sign of failure etc. etc. when in reality it’s simply a means to the end and perfectly acceptable, if not necessary. Basically, you are letting fears and doubts and ego into your art.

But if for instance you decide to take a part-time job which is actually quite OK and you accept that and your art is a pure expression of love and freedom and joy, and you are simply creating because you are a creator, the positive energy will continue to flow from you and therfore WITH you and more will come to you!

You could even go out of your way to make sure that the job is related to your art, so that it is in alignment with your BIG PLANS, for instance by working nights at the Butt Art Studio.

“The Promotion”

Or let’s say you really really want a promotion and when the time comes, someone from outside is appointed and joy of all joys, the skinny little bi-atch is now your superior…

Being bitter, making judgements and assumptions about the decision, being uncooperative with the new chick, walking around the office with a face like a smacked asshole and so on, will not bring you any joy at all and will create a domino effect of struggling with her and could escalate to Dynastian proportions.

But if you embrace the decision and truly carry on with love in your heart, you might find things turn out in your favour after all. Because you just never know what the flow of the universe is. For all you know she feels she doesn’t fit into the company and resigns, recommending you for the position because you’ve been so helpful and supportive and stuff!

See what I’m saying? Trust the Universe. Accept. Go with the flow and things will be easier than you can imagine.

Stop questioning, second-guessing and trying to control. Relinquish that control to the Universe and you’ll soon find you have so much more energy to enjoy yourself.

Which does not mean DO NOTHING. It doesn’t mean you can sit on your ass all day waiting for things to come to you - it simply means there is an EASY path to your success and the things you want in life.

Deepak gives this advice for people wanting to learn to practice The Law of Least Effort

Accept people, circumstances and events as they are in this moment, because it took the entire universe to create this moment.

When confronted with a challenge, remind yourself, “This moment is as it should be, because the entire universe is as it should be.” Accept things as they are, not as you want them to be.

Take responsibility for your situation without blaming anything or anyone, including yourself.

Try to see every problem as an opportunity which can be transformed to greater benefit.

Practice defencelessness: Relinquish the need to defend your point of view. Remain open to all points of view, not rigidly attached to one of them. That way, when opportunity knocks, you’ll willingly open the door!

It’s not easy putting these principles into practice, but it’s not impossible! Baby steps. For instance, when I wake up tomorrow morning and look at my winter blubber, I will accept it, embrace it even. I will accept responsibility for the winter blubber without blaming myself. I will not try to squeeze into something I clearly don’t fit into. Instead I will slip effortlessly and happily into my Tai fishing pants and superwoman t-shirt, slap myself on the ass and say “yeah baby” or similar.

And I definitely won’t spend too much time worrying if you-know-who is getting along with her you-know-what this week. Or when next they may see one another. Breathe. Let go. Trust. Least effort. Flow.